One of the funniest things I ever experienced was when I went to go see John Mulaney live, and halfway through a bit about how expensive college in the States is, he looked down at the sleeve of his suit jacket and just. stopped. dead halt, mid sentence.
And after like three seconds, where we’re all trying to figure out the punchline because the story clearly hadn’t ended, and John Mulaney quietly says, “Has there been tinfoil on my buttons the whole goddamn show?”
He’d taken his suit to the drycleaner, and they’d wrapped the buttons on the sleeves and the coat with tinfoil to protect them, and John Mulaney didn’t notice until half-way through his set, and was SO FLABBERGASTED that he never did finish the story about college and instead did five minutes on how stupid it was that his buttons were reflecting the light and he just didn’t notice, and in that moment I understood more about John Mulaney as a person than I ever have.
during one of his portland shows, he noticed this like 7 year old girl in the front row and asked her (and her parents) if she ‘is aware that she is physically here right now’ or if she was just brought along. turns out her favorite john mulaney bit is the “and I’m new in town” bit and that she’s seen all his stuff. He was so shocked and discomforted by the fact a SEVEN YEAR OLD has seen his shows, that he couldn’t get through a bit about donating to charity without interrupting himself at least three times to import good life lessons on this small child, as if that makes up for all the horrible things he’s said that she heard
When I saw him in Ft. Lauderdale, there was a bar in the lobby that people kept leaving to go to. At one point, a guy in the front row just got up and BOOKED IT to get drinks. John Mulaney looked over at a woman who was next to the empty seat and asked, “Are you with him? What’s his name?”
She was, in fact, with him, and she did tell him her date’s name. John Mulaney considered this, looked around, and unplugged his microphone. Leaning in to us, he told us that we were going to trick this guy so fuckin hard. He said, “At some point during the show, I am going to stop and say, ‘Well, you guys know what they say here in Ft. Lauderdale,’ and then you guys are all going to scream back ‘WE LOVE MILKSHAKES!’ He’ll be so confused.”
He then continued on with the show as normal, the drinks guy returned to his seat, and that was that for quite a long time. We thought he had forgotten about it until, at some point during what I believe was his McDonald’s drive-thru bit, he shrugged his shoulders and said, “You guys know what they say here in Ft. Lauderdale…”
Naturally, we erupted with “WE LOVE MILKSHAKES” and John Mulaney SWUNG around to face the drinks guy and said, “I bet you’re real confused now, huh, JASON?!”
ah so john mulaney is a chaotic neutral cryptid
i saw him last night and there was a good ten minute interlude where a woman told him everything she found wrong with his suit, including that his pants were too high waisted to which he replied “that’s where my hips are” and someone in the back shouted “look at that high waisted man he’s got feminine hips!” and he yelled back “that’s my joke! i’m offended!!”
I’m gonna say something that’s been on my mind for a while now. I want to thank the fanfic winters out there who spend hours writing beautiful pieces of work to share with others, and I’m sorry that so many of you don’t get the recognition or thanks that you truly deserve.
Coming from an artist, I truly believe that writers have it much harder compared to illustrators in terms of gaining fans and receiving recognition. For artists such as myself, it’s much easier to receive followers, likes, and reblogs because people only need a few seconds to decide whether or not they like the art style and if they want to share it or not. I also have a multitude of social media platforms to choose from: Tumblr, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Patreon, Deviantart, heck even YouTube and AO3 if I wanted to. For writers, it’s much harder (not only because their platforms are more limited) but because most people either skip past the word of text, don’t have the time to read the fic, or ‘like’ the fic to read it at a later time. This makes it very difficult for fanfic writers to get their work circulated and to gain new fans.
Additionally, unlike artists, it’s extremely hard to profit off writing (unless you get to publish a book in which case- YAY!!!! But the chances of being published is very very slim;;). Illustrators frequently sell merch, have Patreons, or fill commissions to make a little extra money on the side. With fanfic writers, that’s close to impossible to do. I saw a writer I follow try to open a Patreon and charge three bucks a chapter for a fic they spent hours writing. Three bucks for a 5,000+ word chapter. Thats like five double-spaced, five-paged essays. Do you know how long it takes to write that many words? Asking for three bucks was already extremely, EXTREMELY cheap. But of course, ‘paying for fanfic???? Noooo.’ The amount of hate and negativity that the author received just blew me away. Authors spend just as much time on their works as artists do, so why are some people willing to pay $25-$85 for a drawing, but not three bucks for a chapter? I’m not saying that artists don’t deserve the recognition or money they earn because I know that artists put a lot of time and effort into their art, and I applaud them for utilizing their talents to reach where they are today. I just wish that more people would also give some of their love to the amazing fanfic writers who are underappreciated and deserve so much more. It’s very discouraging when you spend hours on something and barely get recognition for it. So please, help support fanfic writers by sharing their work so they can gain new fans and allow other people to see their amazing talents as well.
This was meant to be a quick warm up, but it turned into a comic that I’ve wanted to draw for a while. This is something that is extremely important to me, and I appreciate it if you read it.
A while ago, I heard a story that broke my heart. A family went a cat shelter to adopt. The daughter fell in love with a 3-legged cat. The father straight up said “absolutely not”. Because he was missing a leg. That cat was that close to having a family that loved him, but the missing leg held him back. Why?!
Many people have the initial instinct of “nope” when they see an imperfect animal. I get it, but less-adoptable does NOT mean less loveable. 9 out of 10 people will choose a kitten over an adult cat. And those 10% that would get an adult cat often overlook “different” animals.
All I want people to do is be open to the idea of having a “different” pet in their lives. Choose the pet that you fall in love with, but at least give all of them a fair shot at winning your heart.
Don’t dismiss them, they deserve a loving home just as much as any other cat. They still purr, they still love a warm lap, they still play, they still love you. Trust me, next time you are in the market for a new kitty, just go over to that one cat that’s missing an eye and see what he’s all about!
Let me tell to you a thing.
This is Lenore. I first saw her in a little cage at the Petco I frequent (I used to take my parents’ dog in for puppy play time), and she looked like the grouchiest, old, crotchety cat in the world, and I fell instantly in love. She was cranky, she was anti-social, hanging out at the back of her cage. Her fur was matted because she wouldn’t let the groomers near her.
She was perfect.
But I didn’t have a place for her. I wasn’t living in my own space yet, and where I was, I wasn’t allowed cats. So I pressed my face to the bars of her cage and I promised that if no one had adopted her by the time I’d bought a house, I would come back for her.
I visited her every week for over six months while I looked for a house. At one point, they had to just shave her entire rear-end because the mats of fur were so bad. They told me she clawed the heck outta the groomer that did it, screamed the entire time, and spent the next two days growling at anyone that came near the cage.
A couple of weeks later, I closed on my house. I went back and I got an employee, and I said: “That one. I need that cat.”
They got the paperwork and the lady who ran the rescue that was bringing the cats in told me that Lenore (at the time, Lila) was 8 years old, had been owned by an elderly lady who had died, and brought in to a different rescue, who’d had her for six months on top of the time I’d been seeing her at Petco.
This kitty had been living in a 3×3’ cube for over a YEAR because she was older and “less adoptable.”
I signed the paperwork, put her in a cat carrier, and drove her to my new home. I had pretty much nothing; a bed, an old couch, a couple of bookcases, and a tank of mice I called “Cat TV”. I let her out of the carrier and onto my bed, and I told her “I told you I would come back for you when I had a place. It’s not much, but it’s yours too now.”
Lenore spent the next three days straight purring non-stop. She followed me around the house purring. Sat next to me purring. Slept next to me purring. Leaning into every touch, purring, purring, always purring. She still purrs if you so much as think about petting her. She’s amazing, and I love her.
So, you know, if you’re thinking about adopting, and you see a beast that others consider “less adoptable,” think about Lenore.
So, Saturday was Lenore’s 5 year anniversary of being adopted (Oct 28th, 2012!) and I thought I would post this video, from the day I brought her home. This is literally, as described above, all she did for like 3 days straight.
My family has been adopted by three strays over the years who were all remarkable and wonderful personalities. I would definitely recommend older cats.
Welcome to Chaos 