stop the phrase “tattle-tale”. stop indirectly telling kids that if they speak up about someone that’s bothering them, they’re doing something bad. stop contributing to the culture of abuse.
seriously though this NEEDS to stop. my mother. a grownass woman of 59. had to ask me over and over again if I was sure it wasn’t ethically dubious for her to go to her employer and report harassment and terror tactics from a coworker because she didn’t “want to be a tattler.” stop teaching kids not to be “tattle-tales” because they will not grow out of it.
This this this.
I hope this is okay to add but in addition to the above it can create immediate and dangerous problems for children, with other children.
When I was six years old, one of my first grade classmates bullied me relentlessly for a long time. When I tried to tell the teacher that he wouldn’t stop touching me, she told me that I was being a tattle-tale and disrupting the class. So he got worse and worse. Before I knew it, he was telling me that I had to let him destroy my school supplies because his daddy told him that women have to obey the word of men. The bullying culminated in him and his friend waiting until the teacher and all the other kids left at the end of the day, cornering me at my desk, then threatening to bring his dad’s gun to school and shoot me if I didn’t stop wearing my favorite boots.
I didn’t tell the teacher because that would have been ‘tattling’. I didn’t tell my parents until they asked why I was upset that night. I wound up talking to the principal with my dad, and the principal was shocked that I had been too scared to report a shooting threat.
I know that a lot of people might think a kid would definitely report something like that, but I didn’t. A lot of kids don’t. Please, please give kids the chance to tell you if something is wrong, don’t brush them off, make sure they know that they can come to you for help. Don’t make them think they’re a burden or a ‘tattle-tale’.
And you might think, “Oh, well kids should know the difference between tattling and getting help, they should know when something is important and when it’s not. They should know better.”. They don’t. A 3 year old does not know he doesn’t need to cry when he wanted the blue jelly bean or if the thing he’s trying to do doesn’t work, those things are important to him and he is expressing himself in the only way he has ever known and it is your job to teach him how to manage his emotions, not internalize them because they “aren’t important”.
Little kids don’t know what’s important and what’s not. As they get older they learn, but if you just tell them to quit complaining and deal with shit, that’s what they’ll do until it’s bigger shit that does matter and now it’s your fault that your kid feels like he/she can’t express themselves when frustrated or scared or angry or whatever. You might think “Well, he’s 5 now, he should know.” Just, inherently? By osmosis? Did you even hold a child-rearing book against his head to increase the chances of successful osmosis? NO? Then I’m guessing you didn’t teach him that his feelings are valid but there are appropriate and effective responses, and which those are.
Also: Stop bullying your fucking kids into being bullies. “Man up” and “Deal with it” are not appropriate parenting techniques. You just told your kid that his/her problem doesn’t matter and they should just cram it deep down and stop bothering you with their emotions.
Yeah, you’re old as fuck and your kid’s problem seems stupid and asinine, but your kid isn’t old as fuck and that problem is new and they don’t know what to do about it. Don’t be a dick.
People of Tumblr, we’re throwing up the Bat Signal.
Though this Administration has vowed today to sign an executive order that would end the separation of families at the border stemming from its “zero tolerance” policy, we must continue to apply pressure and do our part. Families should have never been separated in the first place.
Here are five ways that you can help:
1. Call your Senator and let them know that immigration reform is still needed. Call the Senate switchboard at (202) 224-3121 and ask for your Senator’s office.
2. Donate to organizations that are providing support to immigrant families being held in detention centers all over the country:
The Florence Immigration Project – The Florence Project is providing free legal and social services to migrants being detained in Arizona.
The Texas Civil Rights Project – Lawyers in Texas have banned together to fight for “equality and justice in and out of the courts.”
KIND – Kids In Need of Defense (KIND) provides legal representation for unaccompanied minors in detention centers. They’ve also provided other ways for you to help oppose family separation here.
CARA Pro Bono Project – Help alleviate the cost of housing for volunteer lawyers, as well as sending coloring books to those children in detention centers.
Refugee Caravan – Donate what you can to help detained immigrants make phone calls to their families and lawyers.
3. Contact the Immigration Justice Campaign if you, or someone you know, are fluent in Spanish and can assists lawyers at the border over the phone as an interpreter.
4. Contact Northwest Immigrant Rights Project and volunteer your services as a Spanish-speaking interpreter or as a lawyer for those parents who have been sent to the state of Washington without their children.
5. If you’re a lawyer, law student, paralegal or Spanish-speaking interpreter, contact the Dilley Pro Bono Project for a week-long shift as a volunteer in Texas.
Let’s do what we can to right this wrong because children and families should never have to suffer these kinds of irreparable trauma.
I see your point. But I still think that it’s an easily avoidable situation. If survivors don’t like a certain ship because it reminds them of their own situation, then all they have to do is block and ignore that ship. If they’re on Tumblr, you can filter tags that will make sure they don’t see stuff they will remind them.
Like I said with my restaurant comparison. Don’t let people ruin your own food just because they like their differently. If you don’t like how they have their food prepared, then don’t pay attention to it. It’s the same for fanbases. If you don’t like a ship, then don’t look at the ship! If it reminds you of a traumatic experience, then definitely don’t pay attention to it.
Now, before any people say that I don’t know what it’s like to be the survivor of a traumatic situation, I will confirm that I am. I won’t give details, but I will say that mental abuse is a bitch. But still.
If you’re a survivor of a traumatic situation and you see a ship that reminds you of that situation, then block the ship and ignore it. You don’t have to look at it, no one is forcing you to ship it. If people try to explain it to you, say “That ship reminds me of a traumatic experience I went through, and I would rather not be reminded of it.” After that, most people should back off. Those that don’t? Block them. Easy.
Just because they ship something that’s wrong doesn’t make it justified, though. But like I said, their own fantasies are not affecting the series. If people have a problem with that person’s fantasies/fics/pictures, then all they have to do is block them and ignore them. Then boom, there goes that gross shipping pic you didn’t like.
If they try to flaunt their gross ship, then people can just ignore them and show that person that it’s something the majority of the fandom doesn’t approve of. People don’t have to make a giant fuss about fiction characters and fictional worlds.
I fucking hate it when you’re in such a fantastically giddy mood and then you see one simple little thing that makes you think, “oh” and then you just get this empty feeling in your chest and you get nauseous and the world just crumbles and you want to just lay under a blanket and close your eyes and fall asleep and never wake up.
From what my therapist told me, this happens because our emotions aren’t really on the ‘opposite’ ends like we tend to think of it. Happiness is not ‘up’ and sadness is not ‘down’-. In a way they’re actually right ‘next’ to each other.
If you’re super happy, it can turn into super sad very easily, because your emotions are already highly elevated and it’s only a very minor shift as far as your brain is concerned.
Knowing this can help you fight it, and it can help you be more aware of what’s going on while you’re happy and help avoid shifting towards misery.
I used to always wonder why it seemed like my happy days ‘couldn’t last’ or that bad things would ‘always’ happen when I was happy. It’s not that happiness is doomed to fail, it’s that emotions are volatile. I hope that helps people who experience this too- when you understand what’s going on more it’s easier to manage.
Welcome to Chaos 