“Oh yeah, every time that dad forgets mom is dead, we head to the cemetery so he can see her gravestone.”
WHAT. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard some version of this awful story. Stop taking people with dementia to the cemetery. Seriously. I cringe every single time someone tells me about their “plan” to remind a loved one that their loved one is dead.
I also hear this a lot: “I keep reminding mom that her sister is dead, and sometimes she recalls it once I’ve said it.” That’s still not a good thing. Why are we trying to force people to remember that their loved ones have passed away?
If your loved one with dementia has lost track of their timeline, and forgotten that a loved one is dead, don’t remind them. What’s the point of reintroducing that kind of pain? Here’s the thing: they will forget again, and they will ask again. You’re never, ever, ever, going to “convince” them of something permanently.
Instead, do this:
“Dad, where do you think mom is?”
When he tells you the answer, repeat that answer to him and assert that it sounds correct. For example, if he says, “I think mom is at work,” say, “Yes, that sounds right, I think she must be at work.” If he says, “I think she passed away,” say, “Yes, she passed away.”
People like the answer that they gave you. Also, it takes you off the hook to “come up with something” that satisfies them. Then, twenty minutes later, when they ask where mom is, repeat what they originally told you.
I support this sentiment. Repeatedly reminding someone with faulty memory that a loved one has died isn’t a kindness, it’s a cruelty. They have to relieve the loss every time, even if they don’t remember the grief 15 minutes later.
In other words, don’t try to impose your timeline on them in order to make yourself feel better. Correcting an afflicted dementia patient will not cure them. They won’t magically return to your ‘real world’. No matter how much you might want them to.
It’s a kindness of old age, forgetting. Life can be very painful. Don’t be the one ripping off the bandage every single time.
I used to work as a companion in a nursing home where one of the patients was CONVINCED I was her sister, who’d died 40 years earlier. And every time one of the nurses said “that’s not Janet, Janet is dead, Alice, remember?” Alice would start sobbing.
So finally one day Alice did the whole “JANET IS HERE” and this nurse rather nastily went “Janet is dead” and before it could go any further I said “excuse me??? How dare you say something so horrible to my sister?”
The nurse was pissed, because I was “feeding Alice’s delusions.” Alice didn’t have delusions. Alice had Alzheimer’s.
But I made sure it went into Alice’s chart that she responded positively to being allowed to believe I was Janet. And from that point forward, only my specific patient referred to me as “Nina” in front of Alice—everyone else called me Janet, and when Alice said my name wasn’t Nina I just said “oh, it’s a nickname, that’s all.” It kept her calm and happy and not sobbing every time she saw me.
It costs zero dollars (and maybe a little bit of fast thinking) to not be an asshole to someone with Alzheimer’s or dementia. Be kind.
so apparently Minecraft did this thing where people submitted their own builds to be made into steel structures that would be used to regrow coral in coral reefs, and one of the ones that got selected is a fishwolf, so now there is an actual physical minecraft wolf mermaid hybrid at the bottom of the ocean saving the coral reefs and i am living
Once you realise that a game’s worth is not in its perfection, but in your ownenjoyment level, then you’re going to have a lot more fun playing video games
Ok, this goes into some research I read on the different types of gamers.
They are:
Killers- Think your competitive types, they’re going to be playing games like Modern Warfare, Halo, and other competitive games. They get enjoyment by winning over their opponent.
Achievers- Going for the 100% route, trying to get the high score, etc. Think any game with increasing difficulty and esoteric achievements. They play games to try to achieve perfection within the game.
Explorers- They just want to explore the game- think more storytelling or immersive experiences, etc. They enjoy gaming because it allows them to escape and engage in a world and really take it all in.
Socializers- Found more in MMOs, where there can be real community building, they play games to meet and work with other people.
Killers and Achievers tend to be a lot holier than thou, but they’re all valid, so long as you’re having fun in your own way.
if you hate a fictional ship to the point that you literally attempt to invalidate LGBT+ people’s sexuality or gender identity just because they ship that ship then you’re a really shitty person. you’re free to dislike a ship all you want but saying things like “real trans people wouldn’t ship x” or “only straight people ship x” is so pathetic. go outside, get your head out your ass and stop being so obsessed over a ship you don’t like. it’s weird.
where’s that video of the naked crackhead literally running the speed of a moving car and I use the term literally literally he was deadass keeping up with the car
Hi! Humans don’t have an eye shine, so that’s not a person!
A tool that I’ve found is really handy is a called the Cash Clock. It’s a simple program that measures both the time that you’re working on a piece as well as how much money you should be earning. You can adjust the hourly wage to whatever you feel is right. Simply start the clock whenever you begin working on a project right up until you’re finished. It can give you a clear indication of what you should charge for commissions.
No artist should make below minimum wage for their artwork.
PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD USE THIS INSTEAD OF CHARGING PEANUTS FOR YOUR BEAUTIFUL ARTWORK.
Please, please, please at least make sure you’re making minimum wage.
Please stop lowering the pay floor for independent artists everywhere by thinking $5-10/commission is anywhere close to an acceptable rate for something you spent three hours on.
NO WAIT PLEASE STOP I DON’T HAVE MONEY, ONLY VAST SUPPLIES OF PEANUTS. I’LL NEVER GET ANOTHER COMMISSION AGAIN
Welcome to Chaos 